Updated: Feb 25, 2022
Fear. Decide that you want it more than you are afraid of it.
Fear is necessary. Fear helps us with a sense of security and connects us with our intuition. Fear sets off an internal danger alarm when it's required to help us make wise decisions and be aware of detrimental obstacles.
Fear is defined as being the feeling that something or someone in your life is going to cause you pain. The feeling of a perceived threat.
When I was younger, I lived more in a state of fear and survival. I followed societal standards and did what I had to do to get by. I felt as if I always had to wear a variety of masks depending on who I was with or where I was going. I tried too hard at times to fit in which caused me to push people away. There was only a very small amount of people that I felt I could be my authentic self around.
As I became older, I came to realize that I was stuck in this mindset. I was living my life in routines and functioning as if I were a robot. This led me to feel as though I lost my identity. I was never living my life for myself. I couldn't recall the last time I did something that I enjoyed doing. I cared so much for others and wanted to help everyone in any way that I could. But, additionally caring about what peoples opinions were of me. I tried to not let labels and assumptions affect my life, but they did weigh on me more than I would like to admit.
A memory from when I was younger, where I was faced with fear and could understand the meaning of fear, was in middle school. I was always being called weird. I thought my own way and felt things at a deeper level than some. When I was in 6th or 7th grade, the 'it' thing to do was have AIM messaging and screen names. All the kids in my class would talk to each other on there instead of emailing or texting. You would have a 'Buddy Info' section where you could write friends names, quotes, lovers, memories, etc. They would look like this below.
At this time, I was dating a boy. Whenever someone was in a relationship, they would put 'I love ___<3'. Since this was the 'it' thing to do, I felt I was obligated to put the boy's name that I was dating in my buddy info section. I wasn't sure if I loved him, so I did not want to put the word love in there. Instead, I decided I would put like. I wrote in my info 'I like ___<3'. While posting this, I did not care what anyone else would think. Then I started getting laughed at. Once the laughing, teasing, and bullying began, I started to surrender to fear.
Fear of expressing myself.
Fear of not fitting in.
Fear of having no friends.
Fear of not being good enough.
Fear of disapproval.
Fear of loneliness.
Fear of being hurt.
Fear was starting to become me. Even though this experience was only a tiny fraction of my life, I still can remember it to this day. I was allowing societal pressures change who I was.
One way that I was able to rid my life of fear was changing my perspective of labels. I have been labeled as bad news, weird, dumb, fat, ugly, a b****, irresponsible, scary, all over the place. I have learned to not live through those stereotypes or titles. Labels alone cause people to be restricted or restrict themselves of being free. Once I decided to accept what others had labeled me, I was able to start seeing who I believe I truly am. I started setting affirmations or intentions for myself. I am strong, smart, energetic, weird, and loving. I am grateful, patient, and creative. I enjoy laughing for no reason. I allow love to flow to me and through me and so on and so forth. When I began to feel down about myself or fearful of judgments from others, I would recite these in my head or out loud. This repetitive tactic aided in my evolvement as a person.
If you succumb to fear, are you being your authentic self? Are you stuck in the bottom of the shower kind of pain? Do you feel as if you are being hunted and then find out it's just a paper tiger following after you? There is an opportunity for growth once you view your fears from an objective point of view. Never underestimate the power of perspective. It can change everything.
"I am brave because I know my fear.
I am strong because I know my weakness.
I am wise because I have been foolish.
I love because I have been hurt."